Love And Affection

Second day of the week… it has been a good morning so far since I lost my bb… the environment in the office is still the same if not good then better, the workload is still the same pretty much where there are tons of work to be done… I have very good pair of eyes where I can see changes happen! Do you know what I mean? It means that I can notice the changes that any person made to themselves.

The very little things in other people eyes can be very big things in mine. Such as a simple haircut where most people tends to just ignored it or just let it pass by and not stick into their brain. And for me, this kind of habits is a blessing where it shows that I am someone who really cared about other people. Let’s get to the point where I started to brag about this habit of mine. There is a colleague of mine, here name is Wendy, and I notice that she cuts her hair yesterday. It looks nice on her and I asked he if she cut her hair or not (as in the dialogue)

Me: Wendy, you cut your hair ah?

Wendy: Ya Ya, why is it?

Me: Oh, nothing, just that you look nice in it. J

Wendy: (Tapping my shoulder) Wahhh thank you thank you, u like coffee ah? I treat u a cup of coffee      later lah… its very good. I like it… hope u like it too. 

Me: Thank you Wendy…

That is what I have been doing throughout my entire internship, looking at peoples, and seeing through, all those sort of little things that happens in life. Some people tend to irritate other while some are doing their own business without even bother on what happens to other.  Here I just want to bold and highlight that even a little thing can change someone’s attitude towards us. It shows that we do care about that person and we are giving them the attention that they need as a person and human beings that have feelings and affection.

We don’t have to be too observant towards other, but it is not wrong to show to people that we care and love them. As long as it does not bother the people around us and they are comfortable with us. Some will not give the same reaction as Wendy where they will thought that we are too busybody and always picking their nose just to bother them. Not all will give a good reaction because people are different. Even the hair is all the same but the heart is not. Bear that in mind, because there are people who will get hurt when you are saying things without considering the fragile heart of that person. If it was me, I can easily get upset but it’s just for a few hours. Is that long? Hahaha, well, I just need to calm myself before getting upset and scold that person. It is for the sake of our friendship.

Do use the golden rule “Do unto others what you want them do unto you”. This is a good phrase to use and make a principal of since it is the fundamental things that we, human wanted to be treated as. If you treated people badly, do you really think that they will treat u back nicely? Of course they don’t! This world is harsh and cruel. To be able to keep on surviving is by using our mind properly and with knowledge that can help us go through hard times.

We might encounter some people that are very rude and some that is very kind and polite, it is just the way people are. We cannot expect them to be very nice to us since they got their own personality. Simply changing other people won’t give us any advantage and do not think it as a problem but think of it as an opportunity. Use our head and think of how to deal with such people and think ahead of them, plus, it won’t hurt if we are being nice to them even if they are not very nice to us. Just like what I’d said earlier about people won’t treat us nice when we ourselves didn't treat them nicely. But certain cases where people are going to get their ego down just for the sake of the relationship, this is when love is involved.

Love is universal, so it’s not just between lovers; man and women, but also between family, friends and even animals. When I said it involved love, what I meant is that when we love someone, we will tend to get comfortable with them and forget the basic of being a human being. We tend to ignore the simple things and that simple things are actually the reason that can cause some problems. Sometimes we need to rethink and regret what we have said or done to the people we loves as it will lower or bring down our ego and this will lead to good things in the future.

Some people are too stubborn to admit their fault, and keep on blaming it to the other party. This kind of people is actually a good person; it is just that they are being strong in the presence of other people. We must understand on why they are acting like that. We may know them but we didn’t know what they have gone through in their life. Maybe they have experienced some bad things that forced them to build some wall between their selves onto others. So before we judge we must know what they have gone through their life. We might be surprise if the outcome of knowing the truth will do to us.

Sekian sahaja utk kali ini… btw, ni gambar dinner tadi utk majlis farewell kak tini n kalai, di Bangsar Shopping  Centre (Dancing Fish Restaurant)

Kali Terakhir Aku Menyentuh mu....

10 May 2013…. It’s a date where I really cant forget.. the day started as early as 4am in the morning, I woke up earlier than that, my love called me in 3.30am just to help me awake to do my thesis… its was lovely of Mok… I loved u so much… Well, it was in the midst of an early morning and a half-awake body and mind of mine.. i think that this was the first time after so long that i woke up this early since i'm doing my internship worrying bout my thesis rather than finishing up my work in the office

Later That night, I tried to finished what I can with all my might as I didn’t even do anything for my research for the past few month… well, it was great living in new environment which is in Kuala Lumpur, the city that never sleeps as what people r telling me… the city that where people chase their dream and started new life, opening new page of the book you know.. and for me, it was a good chance for me to see the world before my own eyes… and the best things is I can see Mok every day, well, almost every day… hahaha…

Enough with the chit chat… let’s get to the point here, **continuing to the latter one, okay, now, while reading the journals and complaining myself of how stupid I am not to do the work while I have tons of time rather than doing it the very last minute, it struck me that I REALLY CAN DO WORK IN PRESSURE MUCH BETTER but, this is NOT A GOOD THING!

Tick tock tick tock n it was 6am already… well I have to be happy with what I have come up with my research… eventhough it was not finished… hahaha… I have my mental ready to be scold n bash by my advisor (no need to mention her name)… the sun starting to rise up and showering its light upon half of the world, and in my case it is in Melaka… Apartment Yayasan Melaka to be precise… when the time comes for me to start the car engines, my heart pumps like it’s going to burst out of my chest, and at that very moment I was praying to God and hoping that the day will be great and good..

I started driving from Melaka city to Alor Gajah just to meet my lovely advisor.. I know that I’ve arrived at 8.26am, well I like to be early as the appointment was supposed to be at 9am.. so I waited and waited until 10.15am like some looser and loner in the hallway… well it was sucks but I know I have to wait until she comes and scolded me for not doing my work when I was given the time.. lets skipped the boring details and the meeting was adjourned at 1.10pm later… well one thing that u should know that she did scolded me n all of us but we have to do what we have to do… but she didn’t get mad at the point I imagine she would, and for that I was happy and relieved.. :p

**Continuing my way back to Melaka City and of course skipping the Friday Prayers… (Now don’t judge me okay)**

After I parked the car (that’s belonging to my good friend Adan) I straight going up to his room and packed my belongings and getting ready to go to Melaka Central (MC) to go back to Batu Pahat (my home town). I did manage to charged my blackberry for a few minutes before he(Adan) sends me to MC, and off we go… now this is getting interesting, as soon as he dropped me in front of MC, I waved at him good bye and I realize that something was wrong! Damn Wrong!!!!!

** I lost my blackberry, and panic started to come and gets the better of me… **

I tried to call adan and asked him whether I left my blackberry in his car or even in his room, and he said after checking it through that “takdelah, I try cari lagi” i really panicking and sad at the same time…. It was purely my fault… I tried to call my celcom number that is in the blackberry.. (T__T) sumpah terasa macam nak nanges time tu… semua ade dlm tu, emails penting, gambar, video, phone number, documents, my thesis, and the most important things of all is my INTERNET!!!!

Sepanjang menungu bus utk ke balik ke BP, aku hanya mampu duduk diam n merenung kembali kesalahan aku, tulah, lalai dan clumsy… aku try utk call balik no aku tu, utk 3 kali call masih dpt then bila da masuk yg ke 4 trus masuk voicemail… mmg sgt2 lah sedih… tak sampai setahun kot aku pakai bb tu… bulan 9 ni baru nk masuk setahun… time tgu bus mmg aku hanya mampu mendiamkan diri n tahan airmata aku dari mengalir… I know, its just a phone, but this is a phone that I loved and full of my memories… tp yg agak menariknya, sebelum aku kehilangan bb aku tu, aku sempat update status kat fb, and itulah kali terakhir aku dpt pegang bb kesayangan aku… (T__T)

*in the bus*

Mamat sebelah aku ni pulak pakai bb, sepanjang perjalanan 2 jam ke bp tu aku asyik dgr bunyi2 bbm n fb dia je, mau tak sedih bile aku dgr sume sound tu bila aku punya sound da takde… sangat menahan perasaan dalam bus tu, tahan air mata dari keluar… tahan segalanya.. n kalau boleh aku nk meraun sekuat hati time tu… tp apakan daya, bende dah berlaku..

Well… mmg takde rezki lah utk aku kekal ngn bb tu… takpelah… maybe I can get a new one when I’m working nanti… hope aku tak lalai n clumsy lagi next time aku ade phone… well then, lupe nk cakap, da lama aku tak update blog… wauu… nmpknye kehilangan phone ni, mmg buat mood menulis aku keluar semula.. :P

that's why you go away...

Baby won't you tell me why there is sadness in your eyes
I don't wanna say goodbye to you
Love is one big illusion I should try to forget
but there is something left in my head

You're the one who set it up now you're the one to make it stop
I'm the one who's feeling lost right now
Now you want me to forget every little thing you said
but there is something left in my head


I won't forget the way you're kissing
The feeling's so strong were lasting for so long
But I'm not the man your heart is missing
That's why you go away I know

You were never satisfied no matter how I tried
Now you wanna say goodbye to me
Love is one big illusion I should try to forget
but there is something left in my head


Sitting here all alone in the middle of nowhere
Don't know which way to go
There ain't so much to say now between us
There ain't so much for you
There ain't so much for me anymore

2.1.13 --> kali kedua di luka kan..

jujur dalam hidup nie, cume 2 org yg betul2 aku cinta yg berjaya buat hati aku tertarik untk berkapel n mempunyai harapan yg tinggi dengan mereka...

seorg adalah first couple aku yg mana dye adalah seorg student accounting di uitm kbm tempat yg sama aku belajar kite panggil dye H... berjumpa dye tuk kali pertama adalah pabila dye muncul di hadapan screen computer aku di salah satu social networking yg ada haha ape lagi FB lah [and another one]. seperti biasa aku mmg suke org yg LEBIH TUA dari aku so dngn harapan dye dapat pegang tangan aku n bimbing aku.. mule2 seperti kapel2 bese, ktorg set the rules n condition yg perlu dlm sesebuah relationship, so aku pon dgr lah n setuju ngn condition memasing.. dye nk aku paham yg dye bz, fine by me, aku lak nk, atleast 1 hari 1 mesej dr dye... tuh jer yg ktorg nk... n dengan sweet nye dye cakap ngn aku, "i nk kasih sayang kita ni seperti benih pokok yg i tanam n u kene siram hari2, jage dye supaya dye[cinta] ley membesar n kukuh walau ade angin taufan yang melanda", god.... that is so ROMANTIC n just whut i want.... tp sayang selepas sebulan lebih, dye dah tak wat ape yg aku nk that is to text me, furthermore, dye hanya cari aku ble dye ade problem, sepertinya aku ni just tempat meluahkn masalah... plus yg wat aku geram, dye ckp bz tp kwn aku nmpk dye selalu kuar ngn kwn2 dye n ade masa tuk dorg... aku cube paham tp nmpknye TAHAP PEMAHAMAN AKU HANYALAH KECIL JER.... tak mampu nk paham n puaskn hati sume org.. so aku mintak timeout so ktorg ley settle baik2... dye janji nk berubah, tp dah 3 mgu aku bagi masa n takde perubahan, last2 gaduh kat FB n BREAK....

now the second person yg berjaya buat aku JATUH CINTA n TERBUKA HATI tuk kapel lagi is seorg manusia yg berumur 29 tahun n kite panggil dye R, jumpe biasalah di FB, n kisahnye baru jer lagi kottt.. sgt baru.. lebih kurang 5 hari jer termasuk hari ini.. first kenal is ble dye subscribe kat aku n komen pic aku ngn komen "kapel ekh?", aku ckplah bukn tu kwn bek aku jer, knpe? , wahh dye balas ape tau "jeles....." ... ok, time tuh aku dah bingung, sebb kawan bek aku tuh hot, tak mcm aku so aku punye lah ingt dye nk tackle kawan bek aku tuh, so aku tak layan lah......... hahah...

tertibe, ade fren request, n aku just accept lah... n dye IM aku n start lah berbual pada jam 2pagi yer.. heheh... yg menariknye dye berjaya wat aku menangis first time chat, ktorg try to skype, fb video call n ym, tp seems ade problem pagi tuh tak tau knpe, so last invite webcam kat ym jer haaha.. bual punye bual, tertibe dye amek phone n mintak number aku n trus call aku on the spot smbil ktorg tgk diri masing2 di screen cmputer yg tak brape nk terang tuh... ok, suara sangat2 best... dye petah berkata2... bnyk yg dya ckp kat aku, DYE BACA SUME STATUS N KOMEN KAT FB AKU DARI FIRST TIME AKU WAT FB SMPAI SEKARANG, yelah kat FB aku gune timeline so ley r baca nk wat camtu.. aku sgt terperanjat oke.. sape tak terperanjat n aku tnye ble mase awak ade mase tuk baca sume tuh? dye cakp "am using it now to call u" , terpingga2 aku n baru aku prasan its a BB.. hahah.. then dye cakp, CAN U STOP BEING FAKE? ok, itu lagi lah aku terperanjat kan? tertibe ade org ckp stop being fake... aku tnye fake ape? dye ckp "STOP PRETENDING THT U R STRONG!" haaa.. hamek ko... org yg tak kenal aku tertibe ckp camtu kat aku tru phone.. terus aku start menitiskn air mata... dye ckp dye ley nmpk most of my pic ble ngn kwn2 senyuman aku agak palsu seolah2 aku bertahan tuk dorg... ok time tuh aku dah betul2 JATUH HATI... [its called falling in love becuz we can't predict when we are gonna fall for sumone isn't it rite?] ... dye wat aku berjanji pada malam tuh tuk jgn tinggalkn dye walau ktorg hanya kwn... hari berlalu ngn ktorg selalu IM n post w2w... tp, ble aku tak dgr ckp dye, dye agak marah n stop IM, aku punye lah sedih n takut, aku selalu send msj mintak maaf, tp dye ckp, tertibe hilang chemistry n dye ckp dye lebih marah ble ckp ngn aku... ok, aku tau dye mintak aku letak dye as no 4/5 in my life, sebb bagi dye 1. family, 2. education, 3. frens, 4 or 5 baru lah lover.. tp disebbkn dye org KEDUA yg berjaya wat aku JATUH CINTA then mmg lah aku letak dye no 1... tp sume tuh dah tak gune dah smpai last2 pagi tadi jam 3.13pagi ble aku cek fb, skype n ym, account dye dah takde kat situ sume... aku text terus, aku tnye adakh ngn unfren aku bermaksud dye tanak aku lagi dah... dgn selmba dye ckp, i had enuf dramas n emo sessions... so as to me 2012, either people go with my flow or they can just F off.. i got no more room for dramas n emo sessions. its better to be unfren than being blocked, u put num 1, i asked to be num 4/5.. u think bout it urself, well itu lah serbe sedikit tentang hubungan cinta yg tak kemana yg aku rasa....

sumpah aku nangis semalam ble dye ckp camtu... aku tau aku mude tp dye yg approach aku n dye jugak yg wat aku sedih cmni... tp aku takkn benci or lupekan ex aku nie.. sbb dorg adalah org yg berjaya menakhluki hati aku yg aku jaga selama ini...

well ni jerlah tuk entry kali nie.. owh ya, lupe lak, azam taun ni nk update blog kalo ley tiap hari sekali or lebih pon takper.. heheh... >.<

1.1.12 --> makan di umbai for the first time~!

heeeeeee blog di update lagi hehehe... ;)

entry kali ni is about for the first day of 2012 man!! it 1st January of 2012 man!!! ktorg g makan kat umbai, makan seafood td beb, ikan siakap 3 rasa, ikan siakap bakar, kupang masak chili, udang butter... nyummyyyyyyy.... seyes sedap... plus aku minum air kelapa beb.... lama dah tak minum air kelapa tuh...

untunglahh org belanja sebb takde duit n dpt lak makn sedap2 hehehe.... sayang kawan2 aku ath and nisha n not to mention my bff awang famezan... >.< saya <3 kamu semua!! ngee~~

lupe nk bwk kamera td time g sebb tak plan langsung korunk tau tak, mule2 g kat tempat len then tempat tuh tutup, g lagi ke second place and again ikan abes last2 haaa amek kao , g umbai terussssss... naseb bek puas hati heee... smbil2 makan sambil2 cuci mater lerrr ngeee... :P

insyaallah aku de duit t nk ajak parents aku n family aku g sne hehe.. love u guys so much.. tgh2 update blog nie tertibe phone bunyi n my dad call, angkat call tp takde org jawap, kompem lah tertekan tuh.. hee. ape2 pun selamat malam kengkawan!! <3

NO MORE FACEBOOK

lame benar rasanye tak update blog aku nie... mmg lame gile... aku hnye akn update ble aku dah benar2 boring n takde mende nk wat...

entry kali ini is becuz aku baru jer DEACTIVATE aku nye FACEBOOK... hehee... mau tau knpe? sebb kat fb sgt bnyk masalh yg telah timbul... masalh kwn, maslh family, mslh tempat tinggal, n paling penting MASALAH RUMAHTANGGA a.k.a. CINTA...

aku betul2 suke kat dye tp dye just buat aku cam budak2 jer... mmg jarak umur ktorg berbeza jauh guk, dye 29, aku 21... tak lah jauh sgt kan?? dye org kedua yg berjaya bukak hati aku... aku tak tau kenapa... tp aku betul2 sayang kat dye... tp dye selalu marah aku akhir2 nie sbb aku bnyk tnye... ermm.. ntah lah... aku tau r dye bz, tp aku just tnye jer kot, buknnye marah pon... last2 dye ley ckp, "i'am getting more upset than ever, n i think the chemistry is lost between us... between us in not doing so well, so let give ourself some space..." . aku takley nk wat ape dah... aku try berbaik tp dye semakin marah ngn segala tindakan aku, even aku just tnye jer kot... now aku dah deactivate fb aku so biar lah... dye nk marah ke ape, asal aku bahagia... lagipun aku dah nk final exam nie... so better aku focus on my final hehe.. wish me luck!!!

the newly born me... :)

basically the title of this entry is not even related to the things i wanna share here,,, having frens from facebook's or twitter is not entirely fun things to have...

based on my experience, frens from fb is just for fun and just to kill time when we r bored.. we never actually meet them in person aside than via internet or just using a skype or ym... we prefer to add or have lots of fren just to let people know that we r famous, there's even 5000 fren list for a certain person eventhough he or she is not an artist, singer or even an actor... just by having a good profile picture can let u be fren with almost anybody in fb social network...

there is a different phase or facebooking in fb,

1) is when that particular person is a guy and his fren is made up from mostly guys, and thats mean he is very good looking and the guys or "guys" like him very much....

2) is when a gurl having a lot of fren list that is just because she like to add and accept people just like that, having a thought of "owh, there are people adding me, i must be famous" or "there are actually adding me as their fren?? well pity him then i'll just accept it just to increase my fren list"...

3) third one is mostly bout wanting to have a lot of connection from all over the world or even just from where we were born ...

from all of the deduction that i stated above, i do think that i fall under the 3rd one where i wanted to have connection where ever i might be,,, u see, networking is really important in making a living or to search for help... its not just to show popularity and how hot u r, but to have real connection between them...

i do know that sometimes having a lot of connection is not very good when they cant help u at the time they r needed,,, its kinda sad but we must take a risk ya know... providing that this is experience and just about having funs... as a student myself, this is good cuz the more connection i have the more knowledge i can gather and gain.. :)

well its just my opinion.. its up to u to think whut is best for i will not come up with a conclusion... so sit back, relax and think bout it... :) cheers...